I’m afraid of sending my Kids back to school in person

published in Santa Monica Daily Press, August 6, 2021 (with co-authors listed at bottom)

https://www.smdp.com/im-afraid-of-sending-my-kids-back-to-school-in-person/207282

As parents, we can’t wait for our kids to go back to school. Due to the lockdown, many parents might feel like they’ve had much more responsibilities now, having to take care of children at home 24/7. For a parent who may also be working from home, it can be frustrating for having to ensure the kids have a proper internet connection to their online class, and that they are paying attention in school. The parents need a break. In the lockdown, kids miss their friends and also want to go back to school to socialize and play. We all want to return to a normal way of life, which was before COVID.

But are we really ready to send our kids back to school? There are many concerns, questions and fears. If the student is over 12 years old, they can get vaccinated. But what about the younger kids? They are at a vulnerable age, where they often get sick, and get exposed to germs by putting things in their mouth. How safe is the school campus? It is not clear what precautions the school will be taking. Will hand sanitizing stations be installed inside and outside each classroom, and in the playground? Will the kids go through some training about social distancing, wearing masks, and how to prevent the spread of COVID? Is there medical staff available at each school to take care of kids? Will each student’s temperature be checked before entering the school? On the other hand, a student can be a COVID carrier, yet not exhibit symptoms, and so they could be unknowingly infecting other kids. How safe do the school staff feel? What is the school policy on COVID testing of students? If a classmate later gets diagnosed with COVID, will any of the classmates be required to stay home for 2 weeks?

How can school staff monitor kids to make sure they wear face masks at all times? When playing outside the classroom during the breaks, kids can be expected to take their masks off. It can be difficult to breathe in a mask. When kids are running around playing, the mask can further hinder their breathing. Are the playgrounds properly sanitized every day? How safe is the classroom? Schools have installed plexiglass dividers in some classrooms, which are only about 2 feet above the student’s desk. If COVID is an airborne virus, then how effective is the short plexiglass barrier? Will the class size be reduced? Often, each desk is to be placed about 3 feet apart. Are schools really ready to open up for in-person attendance, or are our kids going to be guinea pigs in this experiment? That’s a concern for many parents. Yet, some parents already have their kids in day care. Some students have been attending class in person. There is a lot still up in the air. These are confusing times. Policies keep changing also due to the new variants of COVID. Yet, one of the solutions often available to parents is to keep their kids in online school. LAUSD and other districts are offering the option of online classes, for those students who don’t wish to come back to school in person.

Raysa Barrientos, Fazeel Chauhan, Shamera Johnson, Claritza Rodriguez, and Mariana Vargas The authors work in various capacities in social services as advocates for youth and marginalized communities, and are candidates for Masters of Social Work at California State University, Long Beach

Support Groups for Men

There was a case relayed, where a man was going through domestic violence but could not leave the situation because he is undocumented and needs her to get his immigration status changed. Help may be difficult for him to find. Shelters for men, and services may seem non-existent or hard to find. I've heard women in similar situations of domestic violence and immigration status whose cases got special consideration due to domestic violence. This org might have some info about that:

https://www.chirla.org/who-we-are/connect/contact-us/

The ones i heard more specifically about are:

https://saharacares.org/legal-services/

and

https://www.southasiannetwork.org/awaz

I also heard that for immigration cases like these, a police report of a crime is required. 

For a man in this situation, it's important to understand that this also includes codependency and a good book on the topic is:

"Codependent no more"

by Melody Beattie

Getting help a support group for men, could be very beneficial. He might be helped by this resource for men:

http://www.menscenterlosangeles.com/welcomehome

I know a man who got general support here, while he was going through a divorce. From a men's group:

https://mankindproject.org/mens-groups/

If one men's group does not feel suitable, he should explore other men's groups to find a good fit. 

For fathers, Fatherhood project:

https://17ihe82xpmj33g4l3s1s5x6r-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/fatherhood_insights_perspectives.pdf

An important documentary might make him feel empowered or get some clarity is:
"A Gathering of Men"

by Robert Bly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP3HWLIL1Aw

A book about men, by Robert Bly is:
"Iron John"

A man might also be able to find a support group through his church. At least he can get spiritual support. Support group for Christian men:
https://promisekeepers.org/

There are also retreats for men, like;

https://www.sterling-institute.com/sterling-institute-attends-men.php#:~:text=The%20purpose%20of%20the%20Sterling,you%20always%20wanted%20to%20be.

Being Still Not Stale

Being Still Not Stale

Some people stopped talking to me

When I had cancer

As if it was contagious

I wanted to change the world

But my body said you can’t even control me

How can you improve another person?

An in-law said god is punishing you

For your past sins

A friend said your illness

Is washing away your sins

A teacher said God listens to the prayers

Of a sick person

So I did not wish ill upon anyone else

Though at times I cursed the cruel ones

The urologist said the number one reason

For this type of cancer is smoking

I had used cigarettes for only a couple of years

But yes cigars, for some time longer

Though I had quit smoking 15 years earlier

The toxins were still stored in my body

Or I was still holding on to childhood traumas

The old festering wounds came to the surface

Maybe it was the dust from scraping stucco walls

Or inhaling particles from sawing laminate flooring

Or the recycled stale air of office buildings

The immune system was down

From poor sleep and excess of social stress

No medication or alcohol to use as crutches

To ease the parasympathetic nervous system

Not relaxing enough, to allow the body to heal itself

So the organs were screaming and rebelling

Some of it was nature deficit disorder

Sitting indoors in the fake light of Los Angeles

Only a handful of people knew

About my health and surgeries

I didn’t want to give ammunition to enemies

And didn’t want friends to treat me special or with pity

Instead, I wanted folks to be nice to me

Because of who I am, or if I’m kind to them.

Using daily disciplines to get better

Like Accupuncture, yoga, exercise and Ayurveda

Addressing the dis-ease from many angles

With integrated medicine, I recovered.

Most of us want to live long

And avoid thinking and talking about illness or death

Many prefer to whine about their diet and exercise

And don’t want to hear that

They should get sober or more serious

Or stop eating junk food

Or soda or smoking or being lazy or sad

Some have resigned to their current state

Become hopeless about getting healthier

But some don’t act like victims

And instead live heroically

In the present, meditating

Celebrating life

Playing sports

Eating-, drinking-, thinking-, being- healthy

Avoiding negativity

Helping each other

Being socially and spiritually active

To improve the quality of life

In the short time left

by Fazeel Azeez Chauhan

2-13-11

24 Points for 24 Hours... Affirmations

24 Points for 24 Hours

1.    The best of Creation is a human being. God’s Light and Energy are within us

2.    Have your Heart be where your feet are

3.     An un-used gift, becomes a curse

4.     Be Self-reliant: Emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and spiritually

5.     Ordinary people often accomplish extraordinary things

6.     Reign in your ego. It can be used as a weapon or as a tool

7.     Inch by inch, it’s a synch. Yard by yard, can be hard. Working hard or working smart?

8.     Be hear now

9.     I can write my own destiny, one day at a time. Taking ownership, not giving blame

10.   I can start my day over, at any time

12. The inner Self is more powerful than the external influences

13.  Follow your Conscience

14.  The journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step

15.   Coulda Woulda Shoulda don’t work. Do your best and leave the rest to God

16.   A Samurai does what he can, til his higher purpose is revealed

17.   Go in the direction of your fears and your fears will disappear

18.   Getting emotional will cloud your decisions

19.    Most people are 95% bluff

18.    Today, I will do what my ideal Self requires of me

20.     We use excuses, lies, distractions and quitting, to not do the right thing

21.     I give and receive help

22.    The present is my present. I am present

23.     I don’t get another chance at life. Delaying til “tomorrow” doesn’t come

24.     Each of us is given a destined number of breaths. Can’t add or subtract from them.

           Count your breaths. Count your Blessings. Value each breath

to: an online group chat... 8-6-03

                                                                                                                                                    8-6-03
to: an online group chat...

I apologize for offending you.

I'm sorry, this was not my intention. Religious

beliefs are very personal and sacred to each person. I

should have been very cautious. Good friends and

relations are hard to find these days, tolerance

levels are low. Yet hope that forgiveness is abundant

Take care,

Fazeel

Ashraf Azim, PTV, May 28, 2003

                                                                                                                                            5-28-03

Dear Mr. Ashraf Azim,

I wanted to sincerely thank you for giving me the

opportunity of speaking to you at your office in PTV.

It was very kind of you to allow me so much of your

extremely valueable time. 

I thoroughly enjoyed talking to you, also because the

topic of what's happening with Pakistani's and Muslims

in America is very dear to my heart. I try to be

honest yet pleasant, and I hope if I said anything

which you found objectionable, I hope kaha suna maaf

kar deejyay ga

: o )

Though people like me have lived outside the country

for several years, we still identify ourselves as

Pakistanis. Perhaps there is a spectrum of the genre

of Pakistanis?

: o )

A person living in Anarkali is also a Pakistani, and a

person who has membership to the Gymkhana is also a

pakistani with a slightly different experience. A

person living in Defense Karachi or the one in

Islamabad are also one of the colors of the Pakistani

(linear) spectrum. A Pakistani working (or living) in

the middle-east is in a Muslim county. And people like

me are Pakistanis living in a non-Muslim country. All

the different types of us Pakistanis share major

things in common, like most of our culture, language

and religion. This is why almost all of my band's

music is in Urdu and is deeply connected to Pakistani

values. 

I have tremendous respect for Urdu poets and writers.

I love them and look up to them as my teachers. Many

years ago I started writing in English because it was

the language necessary to communicate with most

American born Pakistanis, with various immigrant and

minority groups and with the American majority.  

You seem like a person who is living his purpose as

you make a positive difference in the lives of

millions of people every day. I'd guess that the

purpose of your articles in Khabrain is also to help

others. My brother-in-law Waseem Sheikh's true calling

is community services. And mine is also. Thus I think

you would relate as I honestly share with you that my

general purpose is to educate and entertain through

music and poetry, while being truthful.

Upon my return to Los Angeles next week, I will keep

you abreast of what's happening in our local Pakistani

and Muslim communities of southern california as I

frequently volunteer with a couple of grass roots

community organizations. I would like to also send you

a copy of the letter I wrote to the minister of

Education and to Imran Khan, regarding some of the

recent developments in satellite television in the

U.S. Perhaps some of the programming and ideas will of

of use to PTV. If there is anything I could do for

you, please let me know. Pakistani artists in America

are often thinking about Pakistan's well being and how

we can help.

The following link is the comprehensive poem I had

mentioned in our meeting today:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/sweets/poetry/zerot.htm

There are about 30 articles and 100 poems on my

website, it's address is:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/sweets

Information and pictures of our Pakistani American

band "Kashmir" are at:

http://www.angelfire.com/my/arms

and some of the alternative sources and writers and

professors I listen to, for a balance are at:

http://deeperlook.tripod.com

Take care,

And thanks again for the opportunity and for your

time,

Sincerely,

Fazeel Azeez Chauhan